Experts Share ‘Green Flags’ You Should Watch Out For When Dating

You know how to watch out for red flags, but what about greens? (Photo: Metro.co.uk)

When it comes to red flags, those warning signs that someone we’re dating isn’t worth our time, we’re pretty well educated.

But what about green flags?

Just like there are big stop signs to watch out for when chatting with someone new, there are signs that say “Go, go, go”.

It’s those little gleams that someone is a keeper – also known as kci (the opposite of ick).

The trick is to know what they are … and watch them when they appear.

We spoke with dating experts to find out what signs they advise to watch out for.

They are a good, clear communicator

Your date says what they mean, is honest, and doesn’t require you to constantly decode their messages. It’s a good sign.

Green flags flutter if your partner is a good communicator, listener, and strives to resolve conflict or understand you‘, explains therapist Stina Sanders.

“Communication is essential for any relationship to work. Problems can arise at some point, which is why it is so important that your partner is open with you and willing to adapt, resolve and accept any differences.

They are eager to impress from the get-go

“The first date will have been planned to make you feel comfortable and special,” says Michelle, founder of Ignite Dating. “They will have made a special effort with their appearance. They will smell great, look great, and try to give you a good time.


How to stay open to seeing green flags

“Some people are immune to the green flags of a positive dating experience,” senior therapist Sally Baker told Metro.co.uk. “They tell themselves that they are open to meeting the right person when in reality nothing is further from the truth.

“What they do is run an old script based on the pattern of behavior formed by previous dating trauma.

“They might say the right things and smile in the right places, but they expect and expect disappointment at best and betrayal at worst. These are the people who hold on to so many old emotional pains caused by previous heartaches that even if the charming prince or princess felt in love with them, they would not see, believe or fail to believe. would not recognize it.

“To be able to genuinely see and feel someone’s goodwill towards you, you need to be open to the possibilities of meeting your emotional needs with a good person in your corner.

“To do this, you have done the emotional work and you are immune to the previous relationship pain. You must have resolved the emotional consequences of previous romantic experiences and let go of the disappointment and pain you went through.

“Most importantly, you must also have forgiven yourself for any role you have played in your failed relationships. To see the green flags of possibility in others, you must first recognize and own the green flags of positivity in yourself. When you know you’re ready for the best, the best will be available to you.

“Just like we know when new relationships make us feel red flags, if we have the right mindset, we can also recognize green flags that come our way. It’s never really about who we meet. It’s about how we think and feel about ourselves and what we think we deserve that sets the agenda in the dating game.

The conversation flows

There are a minimum of awkward breaks, time flies and you have the best time chatting.

When silences occur, they feel comfortable. You don’t have that pressure to fill in the gaps.

They really listen

Michelle says, “If the date goes well, your date will look at you and listen to whatever you say.

“A good date and a potential future partner won’t speak for themselves all the time, but will actively listen and take an interest in what you have to say.

“Better yet, they’ll remember certain things and bring them up in future conversations or even schedule dates based on your interests and what you like to do.”

They talk about the future

If they’re complaining at the mere suggestion to do something in a few months, run.

When it comes to the right fit, “you talk about the future and are excited to share new experiences together,” says Neil Wilkie, author of the Relationship Paradigm series.

Young black couple on picnic in the park.

A major green flag: The conversation flows and things look easy (Photo: Getty Images)

They mention their ex without anger or bitterness

“Baggage and background drama can so often be the downfall of many relationships before they even take off,” says Michelle. “The bitterness and anger over previous relationships is a sure sign that there is unfinished business with the former date partner.

“If however, they are respectful of their exes, accepting their past relationships and what they have learned from those experiences, it could be a sign that they are mature, that they have moved on and that they are ready to enter. in a new positive relationship with you. . ‘

They are as invested as you are

Neil says, “It seems like the relationship is important to both of you and you both invest time and energy in building it. You find ways to minimize distractions and make the relationship a top priority.

You might notice this in small ways at first. They are not “too busy” to go out and will choose to hang out with you rather than hang out with the boys.

They respect you and respect others

Health psychologist Joanna Konstantopolou notes that a green flag is when someone “respects your time, your dreams for the future, or your personal goals and boundaries, and respects others, for example, they speak kindly to the waiter or when they are with your friends and family “. .

“A potential future partner will not only treat you with respect, but you will notice that they also treat others with respect,” agrees Michelle. “Are they understanding and patient? Do they seem to really enjoy talking to people of all ages and from all walks of life? It’s a mighty green flag that your date could turn out to be your perfect match. ‘

You feel genuine joy when you are together

No churning in your stomach (sometimes it’s not butterflies) or anxiety about what you’re going to say next, just pure happiness and pleasure.

When you’re a good partner, “you are both able to relax and let the inner child play,” says Neil. “You can be silly and really laugh together. ”

They ask you questions about you

It sounds basic, but you’d be amazed at how many people don’t ask you questions about yourself, instead seeming perfectly happy to monologue about themselves for an entire evening.

Two lesbian women watching TV at home in the living room and eating pizza

Trust your instincts (Photo: Getty Images)

You have a good feeling

Trust your instincts.

Joanna suggests, “Remember the first time you saw your date, what was your first thought? Was it negative or positive?

“Your intuition is the first thing to trust when starting a new relationship. ”

You are totally in sync

“You feel like you’re in harmony with each other,” says Neil. “Little glances, touches and words can make you shiver with pleasure. You can also feel a deep, primitive connection, as if you are soul mates.

They honor your limits

A partner who respects your emotional and physical boundaries is a sign of a healthy partner and relationship, ”says Stina. “When a partner respects what you are comfortable with and not comfortable with, it is clear evidence that your partner not only respects you but is a guardian.. ‘

You don’t care where they are or who they are talking to

Do they sometimes disappear without a trace? Do you often worry about who they are with or what they are doing?

These are bad signs that shouldn’t be ignored from the start.

A green flag is when you feel comfortable being apart, when you feel you can really trust them.

“You trust each other implicitly and there are no secrets,” says Neil. “If you had a problem you are sure they would respond in the right way and you would also really want to help them. ”

Young happy friends talking while walking in hallway at cinema

Don’t close yourself off to a real connection (Photo: Getty Images)

Growth is central

You feel like they’re someone who helps you try new things and pursue your goals.

Stina says, “A loving partner should put your wishes first most of the time.

“If you have a dream that does not coincide with their wishes, they should still want to adapt and meet your needs.

“If your partner isn’t supporting your personal growth, you’ll end up resenting each other later on.”

Neil supports this point by adding, “The relationship nourishes both of you and you both feel like you are developing your lives as individuals and as a couple.

“There are inevitably ups and downs, but you feel that ‘we’ has life and is not static.

They recognize the mistakes

“For any relationship to work, it’s crucial that both partners take responsibility for their behavior or their role in a problem,” Stina tells us. “If your partner is defensive or likes to blame you (or someone else for that matter), that’s a red flag.

Responsibility is a sign of openness to vulnerability, emotional maturity and is a factor that helps build trust.

A refusal to always apologize, even for small things? Red flag.

Acknowledge that they messed up and be ready to get things done? Green all the way.

Things seem easy

The super intense, top-down, drama-filled relationships are often glamorized and presented as proof of true passion.

But when you’re with the right person, you feel like you can relax.

Ease, happiness and security are all signs that your partner is treating you with love, kindness and respect, ”says Stina. “Nothing in the relationship should feel forced – everything should come naturally and unfold at a pace that works for both of you.

If you both support each other and listen to each other’s needs, your relationship is a big green flag.. ‘

Do you have a story to share?

Contact us by sending an email to [email protected]

MORE: Signs You’re In A Codependent Relationship – And What To Do About It

MORE: Three Emojis and Go: The ‘Red Flag’ SMS Hack to Avoid Dating the Wrong People

MORE: How To Tell If Your Empathy Is Hurting You In A Relationship


Rush Hour Crush – love (well, lust) is all around us

Visit Metro’s Rush Hour Crush online every day of the week at 4:30 p.m.

Tell us about your Rush Hour Crush by submitting it here, and you will be able to see your post posted on the site.


Source link

Comments are closed.